Vacation

Just wanted to do a quick update to explain why I haven't been around... We've been on vacation with the family and will be for a couple more days. It's our last break until the wedding, so I promise this won't be a normal thing. See you soon!

Ssshhh - Secret Time

Okay don't tell anyone, but.... I'm married! It was just the legal portion so that we can continue to move forward with immigration paperwork (and so we can actually go to the wedding we've been planning all this time), but it's official! We have the marriage certificate to prove it, too! Here's what happened:

1. Fiance visa is approved, meaning we have 60 days to finalize the legal wedding.
2. Mr. Tango's parents fly in from Panama and my family comes down from CT
3. We find a cheap officiant via some online research (he said he'd 'match the lowest price we found' and had our date available)
4. I stress about not having a white dress. I order a used summer dress on E-Bay in 2 different sizes, pay for 2-day shipping, and hope one will work
5. Marriage!

We were lucky enough to be able to get married on our anniversary, which fell on a beautiful Saturday. We snuck into the Dumbarton Oaks Gardens and had a really quick, simple, legal ceremony. We didn't personalize vows and refuse to call each other husband/wife until the 'real' wedding, when we affirm our love in front of God and all of our family and friends and make it really about us. This is just a piece of paper we needed, but it's still an incredible feeling!

I didn't write about it because we're really trying to keep it on the D-L so everyone realizes the meaningful part for us is in February. And there was really no planning - just a grab and go! We wish we didn't have to have the legal ceremony first, but you do what you have to do. And, as my little sister so wisely said - "At least now you really don't have to worry about him not showing up to the altar in February!"

Did you have two ceremonies? How did you feel about it?

Save the Date - the process

I never quite know how to describe our wedding when people ask. It's in Panama on the beach, so the immediate assumption is 'Destination Wedding'. But there will be 200 people there, and half of them are Panamanians from Mr. Tango's side, so it doesn't quite fit that categorization. Either way, people not in Panama are going to need quite a bit of notice to plan vacation time, money, lodging, and all of that good stuff to be able to come. We therefore set one of our #1 priorities: get the Save the Dates (STDs.... giggle) out as soon as possible.

We went to a cute little stationary store in Bethesda, MD entirely by acccident - it was cute and we were passing by. We got carried away and ended up being there for about 2 hours looking at all the pictures! Here are some pictures of ones we liked, taken from my cell phone:

While we really liked a lot of them, they were not in our price range and we couldn't find anything that really represented us. I know that's vague and not a very descriptive response with respect to what we were looking for, but we don't know what it was. We just didn't find it. Not being a graphic designer, I decided to look on Etsy and asked a few people if they were interested in totally creating a new idea from scratch. TwoSillySistersPhoto (Highly recommended!!) responded. We sent her pictures of some of the invites we liked and she came up with a few designs. Here's the one we liked best:

Stacey was beyond flexible and responsive as we made changes, nit-picked details ("can we make the line on either side of the '&' sign a bit thinner?"), and finalized colors. She then sent them to us, and we put them on top of a backing paper (Cards & Pockets' coffee bean), and admired. Look how pretty!

They're actually much prettier in person, but you get the point. We wanted people to know that the trip to Panama wasn't as expensive as most would think ($250 round trip and cheap hotels!) so they wouldn't immediately discard coming. We decided to, beyond the wedding website, include some basic information in the STD. Very basic. How to do this cheaply?

I bought white 4x6 postcards from Staples and created an MSPublisher document (ask if you want the template I created) using the file Stacey had sent us for the STD and added in some words. We printed them out, tore along the perforated edges and.... VOILA! A total of $21.99 for 100 postcards! They weren't quite as classy as the main thing, but didn't look too shabby either! Take a look:

We addressed them to all the non-Panamanian guests (who, by the way, are still somewhat undetermined as Mr. Tango has yet to finalize his portion of the invite list) and sent them out. One thing done, 9 million to go!

What about you? Did you totally DIY your STDs? Did you even do STDs?

Motivation and a lack thereof

Like many of you, there was a time in my life when I was very fit, played sports all year long, and looked great. Of course, that just happened to fall the most self-conscious period of time in my life so I didn't fully appreciate it until college, grad school, and the real world. Now, I find myself not quite as thin...

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Dont' get me wrong - I love my body. I have curves to the extreme and am proud of them. That said, I do want to be a bit more fit, especially for my wedding day. Of course, having the wedding in Panama on the beach means that everyone will likely see my in my bathing suit... How's that for motivation? Mr. Tango and I have both often fallen into the 'well, I'm tired... Let's just stay home, snuggle, and watch a movie' routine, and as we love to cook for each other it's easy to get carried away with elaborate 3-part meals (No lie - we have 3-4 part meals 4 times a week. It's absurd). As such, we've both gained weight and have officially decided to work together to become more fit by our wedding day.

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We bought a set of weights, and I've been going to the gym at work every morning before work starts to run 1-2 miles and do plenty of crunches, leg lifts, planks, and more. I started off at 150 lbs and aim to be around 125 by February. I'm 5'1", so it's not as much as it sounds. Mr. Tango doesn't care about weight, but wants a 6-pack again. He loses weight so easily! It's not fair! We're trying to eat healthier with some good success, and our usual once-a-week burger and/or beer failures.
I've been at it for about 3 months now and am at around 142lbs. It's progress, but I've reached a plateau and find myself lacking the motivation to really eat healthier and push myself. Have you set a goal to be healthier/more fit/thinner for the wedding? How are you doing? Do you have any tips? I like food too much!

Bridesmaid Newsletters

I am a wedding planning procrastinator! I spend lots of time looking online, reading blogs, and thinking of ideas, but haven't done too many projects yet. So today I got my act together and created my very first ever Bridesmaids' Newsletter! I know, I'm a nerd.... But, to be fair, I have 10 BMs who are all over the world. I sent e-mail introductions with contact information a while back but have been somewhat MIA lately.




I therefore decided to send everyone an update. You can see it (kind of) to the left here. I included:



- Dress information
- General wedding thoughts
- How they could help
- Flower ideas
- Upcoming events (or my lack of planning for them)
- Lots and lots of thanks

They were so easy and really helped me get myself organized! I had one BM respond within 2 minutes with an offer to help find a polaroid camera for my photobooth guestbook, one of the 'helping' things I listed. I can give you my document for a template if you'd like, but really just take an MSWord document, create 2 columns, and GO! How are you keeping your bridesmaids updated? Was a newsletter necessary?

Proving our love to the U.S. Government

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I have to admit, I never thought I would have to prove my love to the U.S. government in order to be able to get married. Yet somehow that's where we found ourselves. Because Mr. Tango only had a tourist visa, we realized we couldn't get married without it being a felony (He would have 'entered the country under false premises'). Needless to say, we began the K-1 Fiancé visa process as quickly as possible.

For those of you unfamiliar with the process, here are the basic steps to be able to marry someone from another country (there are 23 steps, so this is a summary).

1. 1. U.S. citizen submits petition to be able to have fiance apply for visa
2. 2. Once approved (4-5 months), start visa application process. Submit proof of your relationship (including love letters, pictures, and anything else you can think of). Get medical exams, police records, birth certificates, and other required tests.
3. Get visa interview in U.S. embassy, enter country, present documents, get married.
4. Get a social security number, apply for adjustment of status and work permit.
5. Go through interviews, biometrics, and wait.

So far we've submitted hundreds of documents, waited for months and months between steps, hit numerous roadblocks (after having the K-1 visa approved, someone accidentally put it in the system as an R-1, which almost caused 9 months of work to go down the drain through no fault of ours), and been very humbled.

Throughout everything, we've come to the conclusion that proving our love to the government has made us appreciate it even more. The challenges we encounter early on are going to make everything afterwards seem that much easier. What about you? Have you gone through anything that has made you stronger as a couple?

Inpiration Board Time!

Have you tried to make an inspiration board for your wedding? I've seen plenty of them, especially when I do Google image searches for things like 'green and white wedding'... I know, I should know better. So my task for today was to try to come up with one on my own for our wedding. It was SO much harder than I had anticipated! I found some great sites and great weddings (see this for an example) but very few things that I thought really represented what we are going for.

After hours of searching, pasting, and re-arranging (don't tell my boss, please), here is what I came up with (images from StyleMePretty, AireBarcelona, and Google images):

What do you think? Does it have too much going on or can a cohesive theme still be made? I highly recommend coming up with one of your own to get you focused! Of course, then I highly recommend sharing it with the rest of us for more inspiration!

Rehearsal Dinner Venue

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I have a confession to make - I haven't been to very many weddings (2, to be exact). I am learning about traditions and such as we go along. Mr. Tango is in the same boat, having been only to his sister's wedding, which makes understanding each country's customs that much more difficult. Rehearsal dinners are one thing that Panamanians normally don't do. I, however, want one - primarily because I'm prone to messing something up; and because I want excuses to spend as much time as possible with everyone who's making the trip down to Panama.


We just realized that we didn't put ANYTHING in our budget for this. We really don't think we can come up with the funds from other areas or raise more money so we started brainstorming. How can we come up with a cheap venue that will allow lots of people to come? Mr. Tango to the rescue again - "What about having it in someone's rented house?" Perfect!

You see - many people are going to rent houses in Panama for their visit. Mr. Tango's family will probably get a villa, as will other family members on my side; and likely groups of friends. We recommended http://www.vrbo.com/ to our guests (it's such an amazing site for booking vacation places, FYI - even for honeymoon destinations!) and there are some great sites. Here are some houses listed next to our wedding venue currently:
















For those of you who have been to rehearsal dinners before - do yout think this is feasible? Can we (and maybe some willing friends/family) cook and organize something in one of these houses for after the walk-through?

Budget time

With 7 months to go until the big day, Mr. Tango and I decided to check up on our progress saving and re-visit our budget to make sure we were/are still in line. We have a very up-to-date Excel sheet which includes how much we've paid so far, how much our monthly contributions should be, and how much our monthly contributions have been. It's never the most fun discussion, but luckily we are right on target!

Now that we were feeling a little better, I decided to compare our wedding budget with those of what it 'should' be. By the way - I highly recommend taking the word 'should' out of your dictionary if you want to plan your dream. Here is what I found (our numbers in red):

1. Reception 45% .....................................49%
2. Photography/Video 10% ......................12%
3. Flowers 10% ..........................................10%
4. Ceremony 7% ..........................................1%
5. Entertainment 5% ................................10%
6. Attire 5% .................................................9%
7. Cake 2% ...................................................0%
8. Transportation 2% .................................2%
9. Invitations 2% .........................................3%
10. Other 12% ...............................................4%
    

It's surprisingling similar! Where do you and your budget compare? I was surprised how little we're spending on our ceremony - the component that is probably most important! Mr. Tango and I had spoken about our priorities being the food and music, and I was impressed to see that our budget ended up reflecting this.

How are you doing on saving up for the big day? What are your most important elements?

Dresses, dresses, everywhere.... and not a one for me!

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As most of us are, I'm trying to keep my wedding fun and guilt-free. One way I devised to do this was to have my bridesmaids each pick out a different dress they wanted (I pick the color and fabric), take measurements, and then have someone local (or on Etsy ) create the dresses. That way, each girl has something she likes and I'm not supporting the big chains.

As it turns out, there are plenty of people who will make the dresses for less money than it costs to buy from the major retailers. My girls loved the idea - especially as they range in size from 0 to 16 and are all over the world. So all I need to do is pick out the fabric and get going... Sounds easy, right?

Wrong! I have had 20 fabric samples sent to me and haven't found one that will remotely work! Here's what I want, ideally:

• A really really deep dark purple (almost black), like the color in the flower above. Don't ask me why I picked this color, since I'm not usually a pink/purple type of girl, but I've decided.
• A light, flowy fabric. It should be something the girls can wear again, and that isn't too hot for summer in Panama.
• Not crazy expensive

That's it - that's all I want! I didn't think I was being all that picky, but am getting frustrated...
(Source for pictures: still working on it. I copied them from a WB forum on purple dresses!)

Do you have any ideas for fabric that would work?

Have you tried a similar tactic with your bridesmaids?

Is it better (for peace of mind) to go the Dessy option?

Favors - Legal Ones!

Picking out favors is a difficult task. We all want something that fits the decor, isn't crazy expensive, and that our guests won't throw away a week later. For me, the obvious choice would have been to cook/bake something, since both Mr. Tango and I love cooking. Here comes the problem: We can't legally bring food to Panama. We also can't legally bring in any sort of plant/tree, which would have been our second choice.

Our latest thinking is to do something very different - like Chinese sky lanterns. You give one per couple, they make a wish (and/or write it on the outside), light it, and let it fly into the sky. That way, they can keep it if they want, or release it in a big group - making for some beautiful pictures and a fun time. On an important side note - they're cheap and biodegradable!


What do you think? Is it selfish to have a favor that probably won't be taken home by the guests? Should we stick with more traditional favors? We were thinking maybe flip-flops or something related to coconuts (which we'd have to buy there).... So many options!

The BEST Wedding Website EVER

Did I catch your attention with the title? Good - you'll want to read this one. I don't usually like to plug certain brands/sites/etc... but after months of searching, we finally found the perfect wedding website builder! For some reason, we just didn't feel like any of the usual suspects (Knot, WeddingWire, etc...) fit us, mostly because we wanted a lot of flexibility and customization and because we needed to include a LOT of info.

The wonderful Mr. Tango, wonderful as he is, intelligently began searching for non-wedding-specific website builders. We finally found it - a website that will let us add an unlimited number of pages, a music playlist, separate Spanish/English pages, unlimited pictures and files, flash animation (fancy, fancy), forums for guests to post/talk to each other, and any order/customization/design we want! And it's SO SO SO easy to use. With no futher ado, here's the shameless plug - http://www.wix.com/. The 'print screen' above does not do this website justice.

I should warn you that there are no good wedding templates- so I recommend creating it from scratch. It takes a bit of messing with until you get figure it out, but once you do it is amazing. If you do try it, feel free to write with questions and I'll be happy to walk you through different functions (pages, sub-pages, buttons)!

Kids, kids, and more kids!

Whether or not to have kids at our wedding was never a question. Both sides of the family have lots of children, we love the joy they bring to any moment, and not inviting them just never seemed like an option. Now, as we delve a bit further into planning, I want to make sure they are happy and entertained - at least enough so that their parents are as well!

First question: Kids' table, or sit them with their families? I'm still undecided on that.... Any pros/cons you have would be much appreciated!


Second: How can I keep them entertained? There have been some great posts on how to make an activity booklet. I wholeheartedly plan on doing this, but don't want to make one English version and one Spanish version. I'm thinking of therefore including:
- Dots (it was my favorite as a kid)
- Spanish/English word searches
- Hangman (they can choose the language!)
- Coloring templates
- A maze
- 'Draw a picture for Mr. and Mrs. Tango'

My favorite idea thus far, however, is the Scavenger Hunt. It has to be designed well enough so that the kids are not interfering everywhere, easy enough for younger kids, and hard enough for older ones. I'm thinking about providing them with disposable cameras, too... Obviously, they won't lead to great pictures, but I do think it will make them happy. Ideas on things to include are:
Bride and Groom holding hands
The couple who has been married the longest
Purple shoes (mine, hopefully!)
Somebody sleeping
The person who traveled the furthest to get here
Somebody dancing like crazy!
Someone making a funny face
A group of people you really like
A new friend
The youngest person here
A picture in the sand

Do you have any other cute ideas? What are you doing to keep your younger guests entertained?

Plus One or None?

Whoops - sorry for the delay in writing over the past few days. One of the bridesmaids came into town with her new boyfriend for the long weekend, which leads to today's post inspiration. How are you handling the "+1" portion of your invites?

I have a few great friends with really horribly awful significant others. I'm not talking the 'oh, they're okay' type - I mean, the ones who say offensive things, treat my friends poorly, are rude, and complain incessantly. I like to think of myself as a pretty open and reasonable person, but I'm having a hard time justifying spending $100/person on people I don't really want there, even if it's only a few!

A family friend recently had a wedding where the bride's sister's significant other was disliked by the family and wasn't invited. I feel like that's very harsh, especially for people so close, but can understand it. Nobody wants drama while planning, but you also don't want someone bringing the event down.

Has anyone had a similar dilemma? What was your solution?

DIY... To Do or Not to Do?

As you know, I'm a very DIY-type of girl. I love making jewelry, cards, crafts in general, and cooking gourmet meals. This very well may stem from my aversion to spending money and my desire to have control over end results, but I intend to take full advantage of this personality trait as I move forward with wedding planning. That said, we need to bring anything and everything to Panama and there will be 200 people which leads to a bit more planning. I love challenges! Wait, let me clarify that.... I love wedding challenges, as long as they have nothing to do with immigration or my sister!

What are your DIY inspirations? Obviously, I intend on going with the basics:

1. Invitations - an Etsy seller will design them and the rest will be up to us.
2. Wedding programs - Did you include them? Thoughts? I'm considering making them into fans, given the Panamanian heat, but suggestions are welcome. Are they necessary or overkill?
3. Table numbers, escort cards, etc... Ideas are more than welcome!
4. Clutches or jewelry for the bridesmaids' gifts... Any other ideas for gifts for these lovely ladies (preferably which won't cost an obscene amount of money)?

Other ideas that need to be fleshed out a bit:

• A photo booth and scrapbook-type thing for the guestbook. It'll be difficult convincing Mr. Tango's family to forgo the traditional guestbook, but that's all the more reason to make it amazing!
• Lighting: We want lots and lots of lights - white paper lanterns, candles, Christmas lights, and more. Lucky for us, Bees have created some wonderful guides!

  

  
• Reception decorations: We will want to add some color to the pure white linens the venue provides us with. Ribbons on the tables? Flowy fabric hanging?
• A card box: Panamanians give cash, not gift-registry items. I love the birdcages, but the Mr. doesn't.... I think we'll likely end up decorating a card box instead. (Sigh, I guess the compromise starts now!)
• Ceremony decorations: We need to create something for us to stand under for the ceremony. Mr. Tango and I prefer the square-looking ones to the arches, so we may have to do some light construction work! Also in the works - creating an aisle, chair decorations, and anything/everything else!

What about you? What's your favorite DIY project?