(Picture heavy post - I'm warning you now) I promise there's a good reason for my intermittent posting: I'm in Indonesia. My job gave me 3 days' notice ot pack it up and head out for a work trip, so after more than 36 hours of travel, I'm finally here and catching up on my jetlag. For the record, 36 hours of travel sucks. It sucks balls, actually. So while I was waiting for 5 hours in the Singapore airport, I stumbled upon a Singapore wedding magazine. Did I buy it? Hell yes! What kind of question is that?
Things I learned from said magazine: They have some really cool, bold fashion styles. There's a few types of ceremonies, some of which may or may not include themes. (Can you say AWESOME?) Singapore weddings tend to be much more colorful than ours. I'm sure I'll post evenutally on these, but today's post is dedicated to the wedding dresses.
The textures and designs of the dresses really caught my eye. I could never pull most of them off, but there's some cool inspiration. I decided to look up some of the bridal salons that caught my eye to explore online. Textures abound! For real. Look at these:
I've already picked out my dress (thanks, hive!), but if I could design one - I would definitely have tried to incorporate some of these for inspiration (not anger-top dress though). Oh, how I wanted to leave the airport and just try some on for fun!
One of the compromises I've made for the wedding is not pushing the whole 'having a friend officiate' thing. Mr. Tango and his family just don't understand it, especially given that we had the legal wedding/paperwork done for immigration issues, so the religious part is what's left. I understand that logic, don't get me wrong. I believe strongly in my faith and believe in the sacredness of marriage.
But I did have the perfect person in mind. Our mutual friend, who's known us since we met, who's bilingual and serious but oh-so-happy all the time. Even when I'm a crazy (maybe drunk) dancing mess, she is calm and collected. See?
(Me: Crazy. Friend C: Beautiful)
But alas, we'll have to involve her some other way. One condition of this compromise was that Mr. Tango would have to take the lead on finding the priest. He had to be willing to let us personalize the ceremony, conduct it on the beach, and be somewhat bilingual. Those are actually VERY difficult things to find, evidently.
We've been speaking with one Padre (father) for about 3 months now. He seems a little bit crazy, but is bilingual, available on our date, and has some good recommendations. But we can't seem to pin it down! He wanted us to pay for his hotel, since it's about 1.5 hours from the city. This seemed a bit weird to me, but we were okay with it - until he asked to be put up at our wedding venue - the most expensive hotel that nobody in our party will be staying at. Ummmm, sorry - not going to happen. We're too broke. We're figuring out if there'as an alternative (e.g. staying at the cheap hotel), but we don't want him in a bad mood for the wedding if he doesn't like the accomodations. And we're 5.5 months out, so we need to firm this up, soon!
Is it common for the priest to be so aggressive in bargaining and such? I didn't expect it! Argh (yes, I do like pirate noises) - I just want someone to marry us!
How did you find your priest? Was it hard to nail everything down?
In my post gushing over how romantic the proposal was, I may have left out a few behind-the-scene details. Just for fun, I thought I'd add them in.
Snippet #1. I got home after work and found out that none of our camping gear had been packed, despite the fact that Mr. Tango got home about an hour before. I chastized him pretty strongly for making me do all the work and slacking like none other. He took it like a man.
Fun Fact: He didn't pack because he was calling my mom and dad to ask for their blessing. Yup, I'm the jackass. He had met my family plenty before (having gone on 2 family vacations - see below) and knew my dad would appreciate this. He did, however, know to ask for my dad's blessing; not his permission.
(Family Vacation on Ocracoke Island)
(Mr. Tango and my little sister, and joint MOH)
Snippet #2: My mom thought he was taking me to Iceland to propose. She was very confused, but went with it.
Fun Fact: Mr. Tango's English was not-too-hot at this point in time. He said he was taking me to a special island. Island is written with a silent 'S'. He did not know it was silent. :) Side note - my mom is horrible at keeping secrets and almost gave it away to my little sister, who probably would have posted something on Facebook.
Snippet #3: The proposal was a Plan C spur-of-the-moment invention, not Plan A.
Fun Fact: Mr. Tango planned the proposal quite differently. We were going to go on a daytrip to a particular island with only one palm tree in the middle and no people. We waited for hours for the boat to take us there, and found out it left without us. Awesome. He then planned to propose the next night as sunset, but lots of overcast clouds ruined that one. So he improvised with the whole coconut thing the next night. I think that was the best possible way and am quite pleased Plans A and B fell through.
(Waiting for the boat - a.k.a Plan A)
So there you have it: lots of craziness behind the scenes for a wonderful moment. It kinda makes me that much less worried about wedding stuff. If everything was so perfect (to someone who wasn't aware of the outtakes), I'm sure it will be the same for our wedding guests - right?
Have you had any crazy things that have made your wedding (and planning) memorable?
2.5 months into this and I haven't told you about how Mr. T proposed? Poor form! Okay, imagine the most beautiful place on earth for a proposal. It probably looks something like this, right?
Maybe you want it a little more deserted; an island, and more palm trees. Fine, so something like this:
So here's how it went down. Mr. Tango and I were planning a camping trip to the San Blas islands over Easter break. San Blas is an archipelago of 365 islands which are largely undeveloped, and run by the indigenous Kuna people (see below).
We went shopping for some camping gear, and set out for the islands.
Three days later, we were cooking dinner on our mini grill, and Mr. T lit candles around our campsite so we could see. Because the wind was strong, he put them inside empty coconut shells we had eaten/drank from earlier. Ummm, can you say ah-ma-zing? There was one that the wind kept blowing out so he asked me to try to light it. I tried to put the candle in the coconut and instead found a box. Not gonna lie, I froze.
Really froze. I just stared at him, not saying anything. My jaw was wide open. We had talked about marriage plenty and there was never any doubt we would be together, but HOLY CRAP - a proposal already? Wowzers!
He got down on one knee and for the life of me I have no idea what he said. I'm sure it was beautiful and eloquent, but I was too ecstatic to think. The 'yes' on my part was a given. It was the most beautiful proposal to the most amazing man, and we were able to enjoy our time alone on a gorgeous island for 2 more days!
I mean, I did tell Mr. T that he had damn well better have a creative proposal or I'd make him do it again, but he more than exceeded expectations! And there it is - I was, and am, a very happily engaged girl woman.
(All pictures are from the Tango collection, taken on the stunning Needle Island in San Blas)
Was your proposal a surprise? How did he pop the question?
Yes, you may be tired of my incessant song lyrics. No, I will not be stopping anytime soon. (Quick random fact about me - I actually had a few gigs as a wedding singer, and was in an a'capella group. My mind thinks in song.)
Back the point - I am definitely the black sheep of the family. I am the only one to have graduated from college (and grad school), the only one to speak another language, and the only one to travel internationally. It's often really hard to get my family as excited as I am about certain things, and I'll write more about that later (cough, mom, cough). For now though, I want to talk about how I'm using the 'black sheep' thing in a sneaky way to everyone's advantage.
When Mr. T and I discussed wedding venues, we originally thought we'd have one in the U.S. and one in Panama. We even went to check out some venues in New England, some of which were beeeautiful.
If we had a lot more money, our wedding might have panned out that way. In the end though, we decided on just Panama.
Part of the reason was that the venue was perfect, in our price range, and we knew everyone would have a blast. Part of it was because plane tickets to Panama ($250 round trip - for real, man. Check that shit out!) were cheaper than plane tickets to VT; and hotels would be cheaper, too. Part of it was because it would be less work to plan one wedding than two.
But the biggest reason for choosing Panama is that it will force my family and friends to broaden their perspectives, go outside the US, and experience something new and uber-cool. It will force our cultures and guests to mingle with one another.
We'll serve sopa borracha and incorporate the Arras ceremony. There will be merengue and salsa music, as well as classic rock, hip hop, and 80s jams. And, of course, lots of our individual personalities and customization coming through.
I love the Latina culture and am so pumped to have my family and friends experience something I'm so passionate about. Our wedding is the oh-so-perfect excuse!
Does your wedding have a dual purpose? How did you pick your wedding location?
Like many of you, my wedding location is not near where I live. While there are many benefits to this (ummm, gorgeous beach in February with low prices, anyone?), it also means I can't do everything I want to do. For instance, I can't make these favors:
While I'm at it - I also can't really cook (my specialty, FYI), incorporate bark/trees/herbs for table seatings, and all those other dreamy ideas. LAME. I know, I really should stop whining. It's a blessing in disguise to be unable to add more DIY projects, right?
Are there projects you had to cut from your DIY list? For you destination and semi-destination brides - what did you do yourself?
Getting real with you: my engagement ring is not what I would have picked out. There, I said it. (whew!) It's kinda like that awesome person you try to hook your friends up with. You know, the "He's a great guy" sort of thing. Or "she's got such an incredible inner beauty". Not Mr. Handsome, but wonderful none-the less. That's my ring. And in the wedding world, admitting that somehow seems dirty.
Mr. Tango searched for a ring without me knowing. I had no idea a proposal was coming, as we had only been together about 10 months or so. There was never a doubt we'd get married, but I figured we'd move to the U.S. before doing so. I was wrong, and absolutely adore the fact that the proposal was a total suprise.
(My ring, from a distance)
The proposal was incredible and the ring is beautiful (see above for proof). I love it and wouldn't change it for the world. I know how much effort he put into finding the 'perfect' ring for me, and appreciate more than I can say what this ring represents. I would never dream of replacing it. That said, it is somehow freeing to just admit (to myself) that aethetically, it's not the style I would have picked out on my own. It has nothing to do with size or money - it's just not exactly my style.
That's not necessarily a bad thing. It might even be for the better. I mean, have you seen my lack of a fashion sense? More importantly, it symbolizes that Mr. Tango is with me all the time. Marriage is about us, and I think that's what this ring represents.
Did you help pick out your ring? Am I the only one that feels dirty for admitting it's not my personal style?
Oh, and by 'other people' - I mean his mom. Yup, that's right, his mom. When Tangs returned to Panama, his mom (and rest of the family) announced that they thought he was crazy. Leaving a girlfriend of 3 years who lives a couple blocks down the road for a girl he barely knew in another country? Loco. And then she proceeded to ask him 2 questions: "Are her boobs fake?" and "Well, the sex must be amazing, right?"
WHOA. Hold the phone. WTF? (pardon my French). That was my first real knowledge of/interaction with his family, and I have to admit there was a bit of shock. That's not the type of question most American moms would ask. My 'mom' in Uruguay, well yeah, but still....
(Mr. T and his parents visiting us in DC)
That actually was a good, honest introduction to his mom. She is wonderfully well-intentioned, has no shame whatsoever, and wants to know everything about her children and their lives. She will talk for hours and give you no room to chime in, but it's all because she wants to inform/help/etc... It definitely takes some getting used-to, especially for someone like me who definitely has not had that experience with my family. She drove me to and from work every day (1 hr each way) when I lived in Panama, without ever asking. She will buy presents for you whenever she's out because she's thinking of you. She always knows best. It can be a bit much (for Mr. T, especially); but la amamos (we love it/her).
I bet you didn't guess I'd be talking about my FMIL when you saw the title of this post! But hey, it goes how it goes. I'll write about me being prude some other time :)
What were your first experiences with your FS's family? Any good stories to share?
I know what you're thinking: "Miss Tango, you are a slacker don't have nearly enough to do!". And just so you don't hate me, I thought I'd add another DIY project - just for you guys, of course!
So here it is - bridesmaids' gifts. While I'm still not sure what I will be giving the beautiful 10 (yes, 10 - don't judge me!) ladies in my wedding party, I know a part of it will be jewelry. I can make it and, more importantly, I found one that is totally bridal worthy and oh-so-cute. Wanna see? You don't really have a choice, so:
There are TONS of these freshwater pearl cluster necklaces on Etsy, most of which are under $30 (See OdetteBoutique, Glorious Girl, or Colorscape Designs to name a few), but we all know that's not my style. I like to make things harder, cheaper, more personal. So I went online today and ordered freshwater pearls and began messing around with thread/needles/similarly-sized beads to get a feel for how to make them.
It's definitely going to be a lot of work, but I do think they'll be cute and easy to wear after the wedding. (Please tell me if you disagree before I spend hours doing this!). No, they do not have to wear it for the wedding. And once I master the technique, I'll post a tutorial, of course. Remember - I'm doing this for you!
But now I want something in addition to these; something more based on each girl's personality. I was thinking of making clutches, a la Mrs. Peep Toe, but I'm not sure they'll use them. Oh, decisions!
What are you getting members of your wedding party?
It's amazing how many awesome ideas you get turned onto when you enter the wedding (and blogging) world! All of these incredible DIY projects, things I must have, and cool-as-pie ideas to incorporate our distinct personality as a couple. So the biggest fight for Mr. Tango and I has been ...(cue loud beaming voice and drum roll)... Tradition vs. Us.
Here's the deal-y-o: Panamanians are notorious for strong Catholic backgrounds, long-standing traditions, and believing in stereotypes. I am notorious for my lack thereof. (Examples: I wear heels when I play football. I was in the Christian a capella group and held monthly body shot nights. I used to show dogs while getting my MPA. The list can go on). Nobody in my family is religious, and I decided to get baptized/confirmed on my own when I was 18.
I want: a personal ceremony done by a friend involving songs/readings that are meaningful to us. His family wants: a long traditional one including all the bells and whistles. (No lie - when they found out we were having a ceremony on the beach, they brainstormed all the ways to bring an organ or piano out there to play our music. They also want bells for people to ring).
I want: funky favors, bare feet, and personal touches. They want: formal, frilly, classy decor.
Mr. Tango wants - Well, he's pretty ambivalent towards everything :)
So how can we combine these in the best possible way? For starters: compromise. We're having a wedding on the beach. We'll probably use more traditional music. We're going to have elegant decor with fun touches (e.g. the crosswords). We'll have some traditional elements (bouquet toss, cake cutting, first dance), but incorporate our personalities into them (no waltz for the first dance). We'll have a priest conduct the ceremony, but personalize it as much as possible.
And... I'm okay with all of that. As much as a wedding is about us, it's also about those who are important to us. We know we'll be happy no matter what on our big day, so it's nice to make sure they are happy too.
How are you incorporating traditions (or not)? Have you had to make compromises?
Did I get a horrible pop song stuck in your head? Good, because now it's in mine.
Today's post will be short, sweet, and to the point (or so I say now, as I begin writing). We are so freakin' lucky. Every one of us on the Bee, because we all have something that everyone wants. Love.
I was talking to my co-workers today at happy hour (yes, on a Tuesday), one of whom is notorious for hitting on every girl imaginable. Mid-conversation, he looks at me and Mr. T and says - "I want that. I want what you guys have: love." All at once I realize, as I do every so often, just how lucky I am. Despite all the craziness, all the stress, I am so gosh-darn lucky. I've found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. How incredible is that?
So today I urge you to forgive my cheese factor and to step back from planning and just appreciate/enjoy. It's an incredible feeling, that love.
(Us at Yosemite 2 years ago)
Have you ever had a moment that made you step back and appreciate? Tell us about it!
